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5. Prepare for Life’s Predictable Turning Points
Dear Ann: I’m a 32 year old lawyer with a top firm, but I’m bored and wonder if I picked the right profession. I’m too young for a mid-life crisis, aren’t I?
Actually, the so-called mid-life crisis is one of several “turning points” which occur during adulthood. They often last for a year or two and are experienced as mounting internal pressure to do something different in our lives, to express aspects of ourselves that have not had an outlet. You are probably at experiencing the “age thirty reassessment." Expect turning points at: *
- Ages 17-22 Two transitions: College is our first career decision. Choices we make will prepare us, or not, for entering the work world. Too often, when looking for a job after college, we guess what we would be good at doing, or decide based on external considerations (money, prestige, connections, etc.). It’s easy to head in a direction that doesn’t really suit us.
- Ages 28-32 A realignment of our first career choices. As our lives begin to take shape (marriage, children, lifestyle), we ask if our career choice will sustain us for the long haul and enable us to achieve our goals.
- Ages 40-45 Values become increasingly important. We wonder if what we’re doing is worth doing. Often, if we didn’t go through some careful examination if ourselves at previous turning points, there can be an almost explosive urge to express parts of ourselves that have been suppressed
- Ages 50-55 Retirement is on the horizon for those who have been in the workforce throughout their careers. We begin to assess and integrate our experiences, often deciding to make a last push to achieve a career goal. Others start to wind down in work and put more emphasis on interests which will bring more balance and satisfaction to their lives. Women often get a burst of career energy as their children require less of their time.
- Ages 60-65 The challenge here is finding elements to add to our lives to compensate for losses which start to occur in work, health, relationships. We need to find solutions which keep us connected to others and feeling that we are making a contribution.
Turning points provide opportunities to redirect our lives because powerful internal forces are stirring within us that provide the momentum for change. The decisions we make at these points will be the ones we live by for probably another seven to ten years. If we ignore a turning point because we don’t know what to change, we stay stuck and chronically dissatisfied. On the other hand, if we don’t do a careful self-examination, we could make a radically wrong turn. Knowing about turning points enables us to prepare for them and utilize that energy for positive changes.
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